Been having a really tumultuous, emotional few days.
Kept my composure for the most part, hadn’t cried for once… I desperately needed to go to the ocean today. The beach has always been the place I can go to put everything in perspective. It’s a massive reminder that I am…not massive.
I let myself feel every feeling. I let the waves bring me serenity and love, and take my pain, anger and sadness out past the horizon. As the last tears rolled down my cheeks, I lifted them away with my fingers. I bent as the water approached and gave my salty tears to the salty sea. The tides pounded at the sand, four-foot swells just steps in front of me, then gushing around my ankles as if the Pacific was demonstrating its great force and control to me. I gave the Sea my greatest respects and reverence, recognizing its incredible power and soul.
As if it felt the bond, the turbulence calmed for a moment, and the newly soft waters slid up and gently lapped at my toes, paused there, and subsided. I watched, surprised at the sea’s acceptance, and it rose once again to give me an affectionate light reassurance, and glided away again. The suddenness of the shift in vibration altered the emotions I was experiencing so swiftly that I left out an involuntary laugh.
The smile was so welcome on my face and in my heart that I kept it, nurtured it. I fed the freedom of my new smile on a deeper level… I began to dance.
Like a salsa, I shimmied closer as the waves receded, and flirted backwards up the beach as the foam rolled back toward me. The current swirled at my feet, and I twirled gracelessly in the uneven wet sand. As the sea foam pirouetted around me, I pushed curling ripples of my own with my pointed toes.
I scooped up healing sea water and soaked my hair with it, feeling the cold droplets running down my back as I danced. I drew more water into my hands and raised them above my head, letting the icy little streams dance themselves down past my elbows and shoulders, sporadic drips like soft rain on my wet hair.
For a fleeting moment I realized that anyone watching would think I’d gone crazy, and in a way I had – I was letting go of all the constraints I had succumbed to this week, this life.
I laughed more, and began to spin in circles, allowing myself to become as dizzy as I wanted. I tipped over into the sand where I remained, laughing and rolling deeper into the warm sand.
Thank you, Mother Earth.
Color me Cleansed.
Well, we all know “tragedy is comedy misunderstood” (Shakespeare), so come on out for my comedy show at the pawn shop owner’s BBQ joint in the Pawn Stars plaza, Wednesday night, September 21st!
Comedy is so cathartic.
See you then!