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Music Video & Good News!!

On my Videos page, you may notice a new addition – a super-fun and artful music video shot around LA and Catalina Island!

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I had soo much fun playing Marilyn around her old stomping grounds, with Marion Belle as my “Jimmy.” The video premiered online at thefader.com where I found this excerpt:

“In an email to The FADER, Belle described the genesis of the “Gigolo” clip. “Catalina Island has always been a sacred place for us. Abby grew up sailing there with her family as a girl. We met Ashley Clark at a Hollywood Forever Cemetery screening of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, where she had been hired as Marilyn. At the time I had a song called ‘Blondes Die Young,’ and I took a picture with her. There is a haunting quality about Ashley as Marilyn that we both felt, and we kept her business card. Over time the idea came about to take a trip to Catalina with her, this kind of gauzy figure who vanishes in the end. The shoot was wild with two tiny motor boats zipping around the harbor, one with the camera and one with the actors and Abby just yelling out directions over the waves.”
Fatal Jamz’s new album Coverboy is out now via Lolipop Records.”

I couldn’t be happier with the results, I’m so grateful to be a part of it! I do hope you enjoy it as well <3

NEWS!!!!!

I have started a YouTube channel called Marilyn Mondays where I’ll be posting brand new (Marilyn-related) videos every week!!
mmmonday
I’ve only just begun, and I’ll keep growing the channel from last Monday on out – I’ll cater to what the fans want – within reason, you guys, haha – so please comment on the videos with your feedback, suggestions, requests, etc!!
I have tonssss of ideas and scripts for upcoming videos, and they’re all very different, but they’re mostly going to be reverently comedic, and vaguely satirical… but careful, you might accidentally learn something about Marilyn that you never knew that you needed to know 😉 And you might also UNlearn some things that you THOUGHT you knew!
She was a very complex lady, so my goal is to break down the myths and remind about the surprising secrets in a fun and entertaining way.
(PLUS I’m working on some videos that are taking a little bit longer -between the weekly ones- that may surprise you and shake up some other Hollywood memories, too!)
You can Like my videos there & Subscribe to the channel so you get updates every Monday when a new video is posted (or whenever your YouTube email comes if you get one “digest” email for all of your subscriptions) 🙂

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Transitioning from live performance (which I am still doing more regularly than ever!) to recorded videos is a bit of a system shock, I have to admit; when you’re on stage, you know if a joke is funny or if a moment is touching IMMEDIATELY when the audience responds (or doesn’t, yikes!). With videos, you write something that you feel is fun or important or emotional, you shoot it the best you can with the weather/locations/materials/health you have, you assemble it the best you can, and then you release this vulnerable little private thing into the ether, all exposed and instantly open to judgement all over the globe! It is daunting, especially when the subject matter is particularly important to you (like Marilyn). So aaaaany feedback you have, please leave it in  comment or at least click the thumbs-up so I know if I’m on the right track in creating something that people want to see.

mm me

Marilyn Monday will be a bit of a priority for me (I’ve got a creative vision that absolutely MUST be realized before I can get any rest!!), so do expect it to be updated EVERY Monday without fail…. unlike this blog has been, haha… You can count on me! Rain or shine, get your Ash/Marilyn fix 😉
Thank you soooo much, to everyone who has shown me support!!! You really keep me going. I won’t let you down!

The Creativity Incubator

Shaking things up, this time I’m opening with the news –

Coming soon!
Never short on fresh ideas, the Las Vegas Convention and Visitor’s Authority (yes, the brilliant people who brought you the famous “What Happens In Vegas” ads) will soon be launching a new ad campaign and Ashley will be all over it, so keep a look-out!
Also on the horizon is a music video release that was loads of fun to shoot in some very fun locations, & also get ready for a new character in her Events repertoire!
You never know what to expect in Ashleyland!

My NYE kiss was a MAC lip gloss
My NYE kiss was a MAC lip gloss

And now, the thinky part:
I’m not sure if you watch the show Silicon Valley, but lately Las Vegas has felt like a giant Incubator that has been nurturing my need to be creative and expressive. I’ve been digging through boxes looking for old tubes of acrylic paints and canvasses, organizing my character costumes and trying to decide if I should clear some away to make room for new ideas and exciting projects… There is something big in my soul that has been waiting not-so-patiently to erupt into being, and I am going crazy trying to isolate the idea and clear its path!
Like any artist, I’ve got tons of unrealized visions and ideas just sitting around in the corners of my mind waiting to see if I’ll ever give them my full attention. They’re in various stages of development. Some of them are terrible but I refuse to let them go. Some of them are amazing but nearly impossible to make with available resources. Some of them are just an intangible feeling that wants to be expressed. Some would even be simple to create but just feel overwhelming or out of reach for some reason. It’s like the opposite of Writer’s Block… Like Writer’s Overload. The best way out? Collaboration. Let’s make something!

Tried out a new hair color, just for fun!
Tried out a new hair color, just for fun!

I’m not one for “New Year’s Resolutions” (they all too often fail), but I do have a standing mantra that serves me every day, all year long: Create something unique that elicits an emotional response from another human being. I don’t always achieve it right away, but I can’t help but have ideas, and often the universe puts me right where I need to be with all the people and resources necessary to make something magical. I’ve never been one to walk away from something that feels right (which isn’t always a good thing, like pizza), so when I am able to introduce my ideas and bizarre little projects to such an amazing group of supportive, loving individuals such as yourself, I am truly LIVING. All I want to do is “feel” and share the “feel” with others, so THANK YOU for giving me life! I promise not to let you down, to keep on truckin’, and to keep you guessing… And I promise you that I will never stop Making the Fun. The manufacturing and distribution of the Fun is always happening over here in Ashleyland in some way, and I will always find a way to get that Fun to you! There is always more to come…
As always, please keep me in mind if you’re attending or throwing an event that could benefit from the skills I have to offer, I am always listening for the call!

Beach Baby

Been having a really tumultuous, emotional few days.
Kept my composure for the most part, hadn’t cried for once… I desperately needed to go to the ocean today. The beach has always been the place I can go to put everything in perspective. It’s a massive reminder that I am…not massive.

Now & Then
Now & Then

Solitude.

I let myself feel every feeling. I let the waves bring me serenity and love, and take my pain, anger and sadness out past the horizon. As the last tears rolled down my cheeks, I lifted them away with my fingers. I bent as the water approached and gave my salty tears to the salty sea. The tides pounded at the sand, four-foot swells just steps in front of me, then gushing around my ankles as if the Pacific was demonstrating its great force and control to me. I gave the Sea my greatest respects and reverence, recognizing its incredible power and soul.
As if it felt the bond, the turbulence calmed for a moment, and the newly soft waters slid up and gently lapped at my toes, paused there, and subsided. I watched, surprised at the sea’s acceptance, and it rose once again to give me an affectionate light reassurance, and glided away again. The suddenness of the shift in vibration altered the emotions I was experiencing so swiftly that I left out an involuntary laugh.
The smile was so welcome on my face and in my heart that I kept it, nurtured it. I fed the freedom of my new smile on a deeper level… I began to dance.
Like a salsa, I shimmied closer as the waves receded, and flirted backwards up the beach as the foam rolled back toward me. The current swirled at my feet, and I twirled gracelessly in the uneven wet sand. As the sea foam pirouetted around me, I pushed curling ripples of my own with my pointed toes.
I scooped up healing sea water and soaked my hair with it, feeling the cold droplets running down my back as I danced. I drew more water into my hands and raised them above my head, letting the icy little streams dance themselves down past my elbows and shoulders, sporadic drips like soft rain on my wet hair.

Wild
Wild

For a fleeting moment I realized that anyone watching would think I’d gone crazy, and in a way I had – I was letting go of all the constraints I had succumbed to this week, this life.
I laughed more, and began to spin in circles, allowing myself to become as dizzy as I wanted. I tipped over into the sand where I remained, laughing and rolling deeper into the warm sand.
Thank you, Mother Earth.
Color me Cleansed.

*************

Well, we all know “tragedy is comedy misunderstood” (Shakespeare), so come on out for my comedy show at the pawn shop owner’s BBQ joint in the Pawn Stars plaza, Wednesday night, September 21st!
Comedy is so cathartic.
See you then!

Experiencing Life As It Happens

I have a few updates, but none that should be scratched into your calendars just yet. I wanted to share, this time, a few of my private ponderings from my personal facebook page. Two little glimpses into my recent mindset for you to experience with me. I hope you enjoy them!

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*
Gliding over the deserted deserts of Nevada, the girl at the window seat and I watch the lightning flash outside, the clouds glowing and drifting in their brief illumination. I slide a luggage tag between the pages of my favorite, well-worn book (“A Lotus Grows in the Mud” by Goldie Hawn) and set it on my tray table to take in the glorious show nature is putting on around us.
Turbulence continues to shake the aircraft as the flight attendants remain strapped into their jump seats as the captain instructs. Not everyone has noticed the flickering clouds around us but nine or ten of us in the back, who watch quietly and jostle in our seats with the beat of the sky.
The lights go out.
A moment passes, everyone feeling the fear right away.
Then we look around at the souls occupying seats around us, and the most beautiful thing happens:
As if we all synchronized our emotions, the whole group of us strangers begin to laugh.
We laugh for a long, lifting moment, embracing the company in our experience.
It is so organic and honest, and the relief seems to stretch it’s arms out into the storm itself and the rest of the flight is smooth and relaxed as we had become in that one binding moment. The plane dipped beneath the tumult, and the lights of our desert oasis twinkle across the earth.
We are home.

*
spirit in the sky
*
I love having gigs that are close to home… and by “home” I mean wherever my mom is.
Driving along the California coast is my favorite route in the world. I roll down the windows and let my hair down and shake that fresh, salty sea air into my soul. I try to open all of my pores as I bask in the sun, absorbing as much of this scent and simple luxury of home as I can.
On my return trip yesterday (the gig was just long enough to tease me with memories and wise ocean waves), I did this soul dance all the way from the 1 through Ventura, nodding that beachy fragrance into my hair, feeling it light on my skin like the most expensive perfume. If I could have stopped to sprinkle a proud layer of beach sand in my floorboard and dip my toes in the cold salt water I would have been the happiest girl in the world.
As the freeways turned and wove me inward, away from the cleansing Pacific, I saw a peach cloud hovering in the distance. No matter how long I traversed the flat terrain, this cloud never moved, just lingered in the sky ahead of me. I wondered how a layer of smog could have found itself over a desert devoid of humans.
As I drew closer, after hours of pondering, I began to notice a change. Slowly that beautiful ocean smell I had tried so hard to hold onto was replaced with a sooty one. This was not smog. All along, this little peach cloud in the distance had been evidence of California burning. The air grew thick, and the setting sun turned everything to a beautiful rose gold. My elation from before slid into a helpless feeling of sorrow for the creatures who were losing their homes. As if they heard me, the clouds above the hills beside me began to look more and more ephereal, like ghosts twisting along the peaks, searching for a new place to belong. I sent my respect and condolences into the ashy wind, revering the mightiness of the monumental phantasms they had become, cresting and falling above the world.
By the time I arrived at my place of belonging, it was almost night. I could no longer see the spirits in the sky, but I knew they were still there, hiding under cover of darkness, searching, weaving…
I was grateful to have a home to end this long journey, but until my return I will leave my heart past the flames in the hills.
*

Thank you for reading!

sea urchin

Writing NEWS: I have been keeping an eye out for illustrators for my children’s book (“The Little Girl Who Loved A Sea Urchin,” written to help little girls and single mothers understand their situations and try to ease the comprehensive side of domestic violence, and hopefully to keep them from perpetuating it in their own adult life), and I think I have finally found one! Talya Baldwin draws with her heart in the perfect look and style I was dreaming of, and she really appreciates and cares about the cause this book would lend help to. (You should totally look her up on Instagram @talyabaldwinillustration you’ll be blown away!)
I may be starting a fundraiser soon to cover the artist fee and printing costs and start actually creating copies of this book and making it available to the people whom it may bring peace to. If you’d like to help, please feel free to use the Contact form for more information, and THANK YOU for your beautiful heart <3

Like Sands Through The Hourglass…

first of the rollI’m sitting here in the desert thinking about where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going, and this entry is what’s on my mind. I promise this isn’t that sneaky “sponsored content” crap (although I wish it could be, I’d sell out in an instant if someone was buying what I’m selling, haha), but it will get pretty darn personal in regard to my body image and emotional states throughout my life, and I will be talking a bit about a fitness regimen called S Factor that has really helped me grow as a person and has changed my entire life, even though I have never actually done more than take the Intro class a ton of times with coupons – they actually don’t even have a fitness studio out here in Las Vegas, but I have an Intro Workout DVD at least. I’ve mentioned it a lot, and wanted to talk more about it before in hopes that it will bring some of you epiphanies as well, but I was worried about how it would be received. But I feel the need to purge this truth and shout it from rooftops, so I hope you enjoy and can learn from or maybe relate to “the struggle”:

Frontierland
Frontierland

In my early twenties I was working at Disneyland and went with some fellow Cast Members to audition for Universal Studios for the first time. I dressed for Fiona, but let my make-up suggest Marilyn (I still didn’t believe that I could truly hold a candle to being good enough to play her, but I had seen some of their Marilyns and felt it was worth letting the fantasy play out). To my surprise, they kept me as a Marilyn!
I made it all the way to the very end of the call-backs, where I was told I hadn’t made the final cut. When I asked if it was something I could work on, I was told, “You’re a beautiful girl, but Marilyn was very much a woman.”
Cryptic as that may be, it did make sense and was a pretty deep thing for a casting director to tell an auditioner. You may have a pretty good idea of who I am NOW, but at the time….
The more I thought about it (because we actors do tend to fixate on what we “should have” done or said for days after an important audition), the more I realized this – I had lived away from my parents for a few years, and had held down jobs and had fleeting relationships… but I was still a virgin, in more ways than the obvious definition. I hadn’t yet truly lost anyone, or truly felt that I needed to be the source of my own strength. I hadn’t yet had my heart broken. I hadn’t really lived.
Also, I was very thin and practically shapeless, as far as hourglasses are concerned. An ex from the time even called me “Stringbean,” a mean nickname for a girl in her twenties! I had been modeling and dancing for yeeeears, but hadn’t yet discovered S Factor, and was very unfamiliar with my body and honestly had no idea how to move like a woman. I was still incredibly nervous and uncomfortable when it came to my own body, and I was still allowing this bred-and-nurtured insecurity control everything from how I bent to pick up dropped items to how I spoke. I toughened myself up like a tomboy in an attempt to ward off potential bullies – baggage I had carried around since the fourth grade (I switched to a new school in seventh grade just to stop the torture I was getting from the girls at school). Kids in high school even thought I might be a lesbian because I acted so hard-shelled and was still afraid of boys! It was pretty clear that I was the latest of late bloomers. At twenty-one or twenty-two, I worried that maybe this was as filled-out as I was going to get.
(Funny Side Note, in case you’re a young and wondering girl: I even read somewhere that the little bumps around a nipple will go away when the breast is done developing. Yeah, umm, that’s not real. Those are pretty much there forever. Breasts stop growing when they feel like it, and they fluctuate endlessly forever. Sorry, you’ll never buy a bra and have it fit perfectly every time until you die.)
Conversely, Marilyn was VERY filled-out, and had lived more than perhaps anyone her age should have had to. She had lost people, almost from the very beginning of her life. She had serious relationships early on in her life, being married at 16, but she too had trouble connecting to others, particularly to women. She may have learned backwards lessons about her body too, though a very opposite kind of backwards than I had.
Not knowing the future of my own physical and emotional growth, my optimism of ever playing Marilyn waned. I’ve always lived by Steve Martin’s mantra (“Luckily, persistence is a great substitute for talent.”), so I continued to audition at Universal every other year or so, but the farthest I ever got was another final call-back where the new casting director had the final two of us wear Marilyn-esque dresses and full make-up, with the Park’s wig. We had to interact in character with invisible Park guests of all ages and pose for a few invisible photos, and sing “Happy Birthday,” of course.
The other girl came out of the audition room with a sullen look and said to me, “At least it was a good experience.” I felt nervous, but mostly confident as I went in for my turn. I felt like I was doing well and did my best to listen and follow direction. The new CD just happened to be a former Disneyland Cast Member who played villains, so I thought I had an “in.” The audition went well and I made them laugh and smile, and as I reached for the door knob I thought, “I’ve got this!”
Then the CD called out to me, “Ashley, it says here you worked at Disneyland? What did you do there?” I was a little shocked she didn’t remember me, especially since there had been days I had hosted in Town Square and DCA where she WAS. My mouth has never been on my side – I heard myself joke, “I hosted YOU?”
The two other casting directors erupted into laughter, and the main CD looked mortified. I cringed inside. After a beat, she said, “Oh! Of course! I hardly recognize you with the wig and the make-up on…” I gave her the “out” and said, “That’s a good thing! That means I’m doing something right, haha….” and she excused me from the room.
They never called to tell me I didn’t get it.
A friend at the Park told me about the other girl starting her training, and how shocked they were that I didn’t get it.
I’m guessing the “not a woman yet” thing was no longer the issue this time?

This picture should really have a halo over it
This picture should really have a halo over it

I discovered S factor around 2007 thanks to Groupon, and a beautiful description about how it was less about “pole dancing” and more about body image and learning to be comfortable in your own skin and embracing what you look like, while moving toward fitness and improving yourself inside and out. It echoed a sense of feminine community I had missed out on, having just an older brother growing up and being so bullied by other females that I had all but written off being friends with any girls (unless they were tomboys like me).
S Factor taught me that I hadn’t lost that little girl deep down, and really illustrated just HOW far behind she had become in her development!! My inner feminine power had been stunted, and after a bad relationship she had even been hurt and taught terrible, backwards lessons.
S Factor has no mirrors, to keep us from judging ourselves and the way we look or move. It trains an innate belief in yourself that you don’t need to question yourself at every turn, or wonder what others are seeing when they look at you – it’s only what you FEEL that matters. The instructors are there to make sure you’re doing the moves the safe, correct way, and the other girls are there right beside you learning along with you, and cheering jubilantly for you when you try something for the first time or do something well.
It’s a safe place, where you can find acceptance, endless encouragement and love from fellow females of all shapes and ages, from all different backgrounds. It’s amazing. S Factor is the first place I’ve ever felt that bond, and I have since noticed that it’s wherever good people are – at a new job, in travel, in a class! I have been able to cultivate deep, lasting friendships with girls who I hope will be in my life forever! I have opened myself up to the possibility of friendship with people I never would have trusted for a moment without even realizing it, and I am so grateful that I did.
Still not feeling like an exhibitionist in this personal transformation, I followed the DVD privately at home when I was alone. It cleared my head, and my cat loved that I was rolling around on “her” floor. She’d come lay under me while I did the push-up type “cat-cow roll,” which was appropriate, and to this day (even though Kiki is no longer here) I send out kisses on every dip toward the mat, and remember rubbing my nose against her belly fur as I circled down.

Me & My Soul Cat
Me & My Soul Cat

As you already know, I did finally start portraying Marilyn professionally. I had to do it myself, but I now had the confidence and strength to JUST DO IT without worrying what anyone thought of me. I had become confident enough to chase after a good man (yes, he made me chase him), and just before we were married he gave me his full support and encouragement to go for it and play Marilyn. He took photos of me in costume in our backyard, and here I am six years later, having played Marilyn everywhere form here to Europe, and even on television in China a few times. I discovered that the Marilyn community is as loving and supportive as the S Factor femme! I have made so many friends through her (RIP Bronni Bakke, you gorgeous joker). Marilyn has also connected me with people who have hired me as myself for many other projects. My entire world has opened up, and I have gotten to do SO MANY fun and exciting things!! Other characters followed, like Lucy and Jeannie… I even started performing as a princess independently of the Parks – three years ago TODAY, as it so happens!
(It deems being mentioned that the “princessing” community is yet another strongly-bonded group!)
There is no way to say with a straight face that I owe all of everything to an Intro workout. But that class came to me at a turning point in my life, where a realization flipped the way I looked at the world. That flip might be the best thing that ever happened to me, and I hope that by reading this you can accept yourself the way you are and start working toward being even more wonderful and radiant than you already are – and you never know what someone else’s struggle is <3

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Industry:Vegas

mixin' up the 60s and 70s
mixin’ up the 60s and 70s

Las Vegas, you beautiful beast, your welcome has been warm!!!

So I arrived in Vegas about two months ago and let me tell ya, there is SO MUCH work here for entertainers and models!!! The city has been keeping me very busy.

Official TV Business!
Official TV Business!

First off, I got to work for a TV network (cough*NBC*cough) for pilot season. I made some fantastic new friends (!!!) and learned a LOT about how pilots are tested after they are filmed so they can be picked up or rejected by the networks that are considering them. It’s actually really interesting – once a pilot is written and someone decides to produce it, they cast it, shoot and edit it. Then they give it to the Preview Center (that’s where I was!), who grabs a specific number of people off the street (in every demographic the network is targeting) and has them each sit down in front of their own private flat screen and watch the new pilot before it’s released! Then they do a touch-screen survey at the end where they can tell the TV network what they liked and didn’t like about the episode (or double-episode pilot, if that’s the case). The network uses this information to decide if they need to write out a character no one liked, or re-cast an actor who was unpopular in the test group, or go ahead and green light the show as it is. Then, the network then PAYS THE VIEWERS CASH (or a casino buffet and show tickets, if they preferred) for their time and for helping them decide how popular the show would be. This way they lessen the chance that they spend a BUNCH more money to produce a show that will bomb (which, I guess, doesn’t always work out, haha). This season they paid people anywhere form $15 to $50 just to watch a sneak peek of the new shows.
Um, this is how they test TV pilots every year, every season… WHY has no one ever asked ME to do this?! I mean, right? That’s one of those things you WISH someone would walk up and ask you to do. Watch an episode of a brand-new TV show for cash.
This may shock and surprise you… but a ton of people actually said NO to this!! They thought it was a scam or a timeshare, haha! This is what it’s come to, people. This is what it’s come to.

Louise and Tina Belcher make an appearance!!
Louise and Tina Belcher make an appearance!!

So once pilot season ended, my schedule opened back up. I have been able to go out and discover some of the lesser-known facts about how Vegas works. I’m not a pro “local” yet, I still need to figure out where to get cheap show tickets and the like, but I did learn about the organized, efficient system that Fremont Street has come up with for its sidewalk performers. Hollywood Boulevard could learn a thing or two!! It’s actually a LOT like Dublin’s system at the City Centre…
There’s a little booth just off the center of Fremont Street where new and old performers can check in and get/update their badge, which has a QR code and performer number on it. The badge must be displayed while they are performing. Then, they are assigned a poker chip number – All along Fremont Street there are giant, numbered poker chips designs on the concrete, specially-measured to be a reasonable distance from vendors and casino entrances so as not to distract from their business. The performer can stand on any coin/chip they want if it isn’t busy, but during the rush hours they have their assigned spot. Every three hours, they have to rotate to another coin or go home, giving another performer a chance. The booth knows when you check in if any spots are available. It’s really organized, and very cool. The best part? The performers on Fremont are some of the NICEST people I have met here!! They’re a tight community, everyone really supports each other and no one fights over a spot…. except for one (“pirate,” maybe? It’s hard to say what she’s supposed to be) chick, who everyone seems to know is rude, rude, rude. I guess every group has that one person, right?
There’s a guy who wears one of those Borat, over-the-shoulders g-strings. NO ONE walks by this guy without taking a picture of him. You can’t help it! It’s just not something you see every day (if you don’t live here). But this guy? The most CHARMING dude ever. Very cool to talk to, super nice to people. He is charming enough that even uptight-seeming people end up taking the most risque photos with him. It’s really a sight to see.

My biggest fan (for a night), Hannah <3
My beautiful “groupie” (for a night), Hannah <3

I’ve done a few comedy shows since I got here in Vegas, but will hopefully do them more often now that my schedule is more open. I’ll update this blog with my next shows!

I’ve been working behind-the-scenes on creating a traveling variety show I’ll be producing soon, too. It’ll be once a month in four different venues, one show every week, featuring something for everyone – comedy, celebrity impersonators, magic and music! And since it’s my show, you’ll of course be able to meet and take pictures with the performers afterward. And expect some exciting names 😉 As SOON as I get the details set in stone I’ll be posting about it here and everywhere else I can think of. If you’re planning a trip to Vegas soon, be sure to keep an eye out for it!!

"Marilyn" gets a kiss from the LV Arts District
“Marilyn” gets a kiss from the LV Arts District

Stay tuned for other updates, too, as you seriously never know what Vegas will send me to next!! And if you’re not following me on Instagram yet, that’s where I update the most often, followed by my facebook Fan Page, and twitter is where I post all my new one-liners as I think them up! And you can always contact me through the website here to hire me for gigs and appearances, princess parties and trade shows!

*NEW FEATURE!!*
Not sure when to check back on this site?
Not getting updates when I post on my facebook Fan Page?
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And as always, your support is what keeps me going <3 Thank you so much for believing in me and helping me stay focused!!

damai.tv

From the City of Angels …to Sin City

First, allow me to explain that headline:

Surprise! I’m moving to Las Vegas!
Yes, I will still be just as readily available for gigs all over the world 😉

John and I worked the CES expo in Vegas again (and a few comedy shows while we were in town), and it’s like a light bulb turned on and burned too brightly for us to ignore!
Luckily, everyone ends up in Vegas at some point or another, so when it’s your turn to pass through, don’t forget to check in here for some really great nights! We’ll be producing several comedy and variety shows there!

Since we last left our hero……..
My inspiration and creativity is at an all-time hyper speed and I’m trying to keep up with it! I’ve done a ton of “royal” parties and events and quite a few Marilyn and TV appearances, and I got to do them all from the comfort of my nest – John and I stayed with my parents for the holidays and it’s been amazing to see them and all of my old friends. Once Vegas became a thing, I have also been making it a priority to spend time with my friends in this state before we move away, and that has been incredibly heart-warming and humbling. I am very grateful to have such amazing, supportive, and hilarious friends.
Plus I finally had the inner serenity enough to escape the city chatter and focus, scribbling down a whole bunch of the ideas that had only previously been floating around inside my head. This means soon you’ll get to start seeing those come to fruition pretty steadily!

If you or someone you know is looking for a Marilyn Monroe impersonator, actress, comedian, Lucille Ball or 1960’s Goldie Hawn character appearance, model, emcee, hostess, product demonstrator, live mannequin, brand ambassador, or princess party performer in Las Vegas, Los Angeles, or anywhere in the world, I’d be very appreciative if you’d consider me!

Well, I know you couldn’t be as excited about all of this as I am, but expect the next year or so of this blog to be updated from a place of great joy and passion 🙂 I hope 2016 brings you as much motivation and returns as I hope mine will!

6 Incredibly Common Things Movies Have Made You Irrationally Afraid Of

In June 2013, I wrote this intending to submit it to a certain website as one of their popular “lists.” That process turned out to be a huge “We’ll take your idea and change it enough that it no longer resembles what you wanted it to be and is therefore ours and you’ll get a little money for giving us the idea and doing the work.” So forget it, here it is as I feel it should be. Me, the one who came up it and then wrote it. Enjoy.

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6 Incredibly Common Things Movies Have Made You Irrationally Afraid Of

Movies are arguably the best form of entertainment we humans can use to escape the monotony of our wretchedly boring and repetitive lives. And though we secretly love the repetition, some ideas that movies have spawned permanently scar our fragile psyches and as a result of being entertained by them, we are scared to do things that we have literally done every single day of our lives up until that point. It’s almost as if we believe that just KNOWING ABOUT a scary story lets that made-up ghost or axe-murderer somehow manifest itself and find you. It’s the same reason that we lock our doors and windows when we watch America’s Most Wanted – we know the escaped criminals don’t know who we are, and they can’t possibly know that we are watching their story on tv, but we still feel better knowing the porch light is on. ‘Cause that’ll stop ’em.


HURRY!!! Lock it before someone invisible and imaginary shoves it open!!
(Source: mydeathspace.com )

6.) Cars

You have been in cars since before you were born. Heck, you were probably conceived in one! But then you just HAD to watch Christine, and now you think your Civic is jealous of your date.


She’s hot.
(Source: stephenking.wikia.com )

Or maybe you think that every murderer you’ve ever heard a story about is hiding in your back seat with an axe, a la Urban Legend. That one, actually, you should maybe check on…

But come on. Cars themselves don’t have a mind of their own, do they? They can’t possibly develop their own thoughts and personalities, and start acting under their own will… right?

Thanks to Maximum Overdrive, movie-goers are even afraid of our electric toothbrushes.


Ok, I promise I won’t use you to download any Metallica!

5.) Children

Orphan may not have technically been about an evil child, just like Poltergeist and The Exorcist, among several others, were actually about good kids who were unfortunate enough to be possessed by misbehaved, rambunctious demons. But that doesn’t make us any less afraid when a stranger’s child is staring at us from the grocery cart shaped like a race car.


You’ll still be able to see this when you close your eyes.
(Source: Photobucket.com )

What could be worse than a creepy staring child?
More than one of them.


Oh, eff THESE costumes.
(Source: farm4.staticflickr.com )

That’s why Village of the Damned is so rightfully horrifying. An entire town of humans giving birth to dozens of evil alien children? While a very American storyline, that’s one too many unsettling concepts! Generally, you can scare a kid into submission with a stern look or a well-placed expletive, but when you’re out-numbered, the rules change and you’re pretty much screwed.


“You must be our new teacher. Our old one is….gone.”
(Source: flickr )

4.) Mirrors

Besides the obvious film for this one, Mirrors, where Kiefer Sutherland can’t stand the sight of his own reflection, there are a crap-heap of movies that have made us want to cover all of our mirrors, or at the very least bury them in our backyards in welded-shut metal boxes surrounded by garlic. These movies are especially hard to watch for those of us who live in Los Angeles, where staring at our own reflections occupies the better part of our day.
But films like Poltergeist 3 take the mirror fear to a ridiculous level. You start noticing how anything that’s remotely smooth casts reflections, which leads you to believe there is NOWHERE you can hide from horrible, horrible death, except the one place where there are NO mirrors: the bathroom at the Shell station. And isn’t being in that hiding place worse than just being slaughtered by some mirror demon?


Mary Poppins may not have been classified as a horror movie, but this scene is seriously effing disturbing.
(Source: static.tvtropes.org )

Speaking of bathrooms…

3.) Bathrooms

If you’ve never had an irrational fear of the bathroom, you probably didn’t see Psycho as a kid. Or maybe you also missed the boat on the horrors that are Candyman. If you’re also afraid of bees (or if you are a male), then saddle up:

*Watch the Candyman bathroom scene on someone else’s TV*

Speaking of bugs, who doesn’t love the scene in Squirm where worms come sliding out of the shower head and fall into a pile in the tub?


Even worms can’t resist the fruity scent of new Tressienne Shampoo!
(Source: gonewiththetwins.com )

To make matters worse, Freddy Krueger had to go and stick his claws all up in the tub! Thanks, Hollywood. Now we can’t shower OR take a bath without imagining all the different ways we can be mutilated.


So, you said you wanted me to leave a “runway,” right?
(Source: gallery.roborooter.com )


Or, if you prefer, you can always just imagine Harrison Ford drowning you.
(Source: blogspot)

If you’re reading this, you were probably just a kid when you saw The Shining, and baths were already something you dreaded. The last thing our mothers needed was for our dads to show us the woman in Room 237. Not only were we afraid to go in there without a cat that could smell danger and therefore warn us of impending demons, but now we also had to run as fast as we could from the bathroom – once even slamming our heads onto the bottom of the top bunk bed as we leaped toward the “safety” of our Little Mermaid blankets.
…No? That didn’t happen to everybody?

2.) Touching The Ground

This is a level up from playing “Hot Lava,” where you have to jump from the couch to the loveseat without touching the carpet or you “burn to death in lava.” We’re talking grown-up, baffling fear of the Earth itself opening up and releasing unreasonable zombies or giant eff-off worm monsters upon our tiny, girlish ankles.


Come on, who hasn’t wanted to do this to an upstairs neighbor who seems to enjoy brick-tossing?
(Source: staticflickr.com )

Tremors may have been a hilarious ode to Kevin Bacon’s flared nostrils, but thanks to that lovely film series, many of us can no longer step out of a car without considering the possibility of being swallowed whole by some saw-tooth-throated radioactive desert worm…

…or perhaps an undead insurance salesman wishes to tell us about how much we can save if we just let him feed off of our frontal lobe?


I’d just like to talk to you about the word of God… whom I’ve just spoken to, as it so happens…
(Source: blogspot.com )

If your name is Barbara, chances are you probably don’t wander into cemeteries with your new boyfriends anymore.

1.) Your Own Head

Ok, being afraid of things that are out of your control is one thing – so Starbucks is all out of Coconut Syrup until next summer, that’s fine. But then Hollywood plants the lovely little seed in your head that you might have a different personality in your head that wants to kill your loved ones while you sleep? Well, that’s crossing the line!! If you’re lucky, the killer inside you will be an old imaginary friend you can hang with, like in Playroom.


One can hope that your homicidal personality will at least be a better dresser than you.
(Source: wordpress.com)

You can’t even go to sleep, because then your brain REALLY takes over, and you can be killed by our aforementioned pal Freddy!

Ok, that’s your bedtime story! Lights out!

From Here To There And There To Here

Fall Into Change!

London, UK
London, UK

The stand-up comedy tour of England and Ireland was phenomenally exciting!
I am so grateful for the welcoming spirit of the Irish and English comedy networks. I met some very good people, and I hope to nurture lots of new wonderful friendships! John and I were able to do a bunch of shows that were spread out enough that we could visit some incredible and historic places! I took tons of pictures and got loads of new material as an outsider to the native cultures. There are a few new pins on my map of things yet to do in this life…! You never really know what you’re missing if you don’t take a peek!

Liverpool Sunset
Liverpool Sunset

Looking ahead, I’ve been noticing that everything – not just the season – is in a state of great change. Nearly everyone I know is experiencing some kind of turbulence or turmoil, whether they are adjusting to a sudden launch of success or mourning the loss of a job or a loved one. I asked my dad what he thought of all of these life-altering shifts, and he told me this:
“I go outside and Iook around at the birds and the ground squirrels and the other animals… If they’re not packing up their feathers and booking it out of here, I know I’m good.”
It put things well-enough into perspective for me that I wanted to share this reassuring thought! The world isn’t coming to an end. We just need to accept and embrace these differences and make the best we can of them.
So I’m doing just that!

BBC Me
BBC Me

You may hear my voice on some tutorial videos that will be released regularly very soon! One is already in the can… More on that is yet to come!

Central Park, Dublin
Central Park, Dublin

I have been booking a TON of character work, so that’s on an upswing!
Even in Europe I was photographed in professional Marilyn Monroe replica clothing for Costumes By Christine, and Marilyn also got to come out and play for Dublin’s Culture Night event!
Here at home, I was thrilled to play Lucille Ball at a Ribbon-Cutting celebration in San Diego last weekend, and every upcoming weekend is filling up fast with Ice Queen parties! ‘Tis the season for Frozen-themed events, and with my newfound portability I am available almost anywhere! If you’re looking for an Elsa performer this fall or winter, you’ve found her! I also take requests for any new characters, so if you don’t see the one you’re looking for on my roster yet, just ask!
For any comedy or character appearance, I am willing to travel as far as you need, whether that is New York, Texas, California, you name it! If you’ll cover travel/lodging, I’d even love to appear internationally! I’d love to see new places like Dubai or France or Sweden, or even familiar places like Canada or Hawaii! Have costumes will travel 🙂 Wanderlust or Bust!

Guess which one is me :p
Guess which one is me :p

I’m starting to work out the kinks for a major show I’ll be producing soon, so if you’re a large venue looking for big acts, I might just have what you’re looking for! Depending on what city you’re in, there may even be surprise celebrity appearances and cameos! Stay tuned for updates! I can’t even wait to tell you more! But I will.

The first place The Beatles ever played!
The first place The Beatles ever played!

If you’re a fun, high-energy rockabilly band (or if you know someone who is)… I have a great idea! We should talk!

Thames on a rainy afternoon
Thames on a rainy afternoon

I’m deeming this the Solstice of Reality, where I get all of my best ideas off the paper and into the world. Join me! If you do something creative or have a project I can offer any help on, let’s create!

Until next time, kiddos!

EUROPE Report

Here are some of the shows booked out so far:

*ENGLAND*
*Mirth Control* – at Cameo Nightclub in Bournemouth, United Kingdom – Saturday 22 August
*IRELAND*
*Unhinged Comedy Club* at Ha’Penny Bridge Inn  – Dublin, Ireland –  Sunday 23 August
*Roisin Dubh* – Galway, Ireland – Tuesday 25 August
*LOL @ Anseo* – Dublin, Ireland – Wednesday 26 August

*Dew Drop Inn* – Galway, Ireland – Thursday 27 August
*ENGLAND AGAIN*
*Raconteurs* at the Oak & Pastor  – London, England – Wednesday 2 September                               *T-Bird Comedy Club* –  London, UK – Friday 4 September
*The View, Everton* – Liverpool, UK – Friday, 11 September
*IRELAND AGAIN*
*LOL @ Anseo* – Dublin, Ireland – Tuesday, 15 September
*Spirit Store* – Dundalk, Ireland – Saturday, 19 September
*Half-Cut Comedy* – Waterford, Ireland – Thursday, 24 September


There were many more shows added to this list as the tour grew closer, and we hope to arrange another tour again in a year or so, expanding to include cities in Scotland, Finland and France! What a great experience, and we made so many new friends!