Spring Forward…!

Well, year #3 at the Grammys was the BEST so far!! I was able to do a bit more star-gazing (it’s always fun to see someone in person after hearing SO much about them – I think that’s why we as humans are so drawn to celebrities and royalty), and the time flew by! Our group of “Ladies In Red” had terrible seats, but we were next to Ron Jeremy so we didn’t feel TOO bad about it – I guess HE couldn’t get good seats either, haha! It’s amazing how long the Grammys ceremony is – they only air the GOOD parts on TV, while the rest of us had to sit through HOURS of awards being presented to no one I had heard of… OH, if you didn’t know, the Grammys have been held at the Staples Center for the past few years, and there is a rule there where once you are inside you can NOT leave. If you leave the stadium, your ticket becomes useless! People still offer to buy your ticket outside without knowing that. I hope no one gave in! Anyway, because of that rule you HAVE to sit through all four hours of the event. Another little-known fact you won’t hear about anywhere else: unless you have a private suite in the stadium, there is NO ALCOHOL sold during the Grammys!!! Imagine it, hundreds of MUSICIANS and no booze!
Well, there is ONE place, but access is very limited, it’s the whole reason I am there at all, and that’s ALL I will tell you ๐Ÿ˜‰

I had a great time at the Tustin Gallery of Performing Arts on February 1st, in comedy news! Great line-up, and a headliner I have known since before I even started doing stand-up, Claude Stewart! It was nice to share the stage with someone who contributed to my ascent into the field ๐Ÿ™‚

Marilyn news, this time, is a little different…

NEVER STAY AT ARIZONA CHARLIE’S OR THE STRATOSPHERE HOTELS IN LAS VEGAS!

Now, I would never, EVER put someone’s job in jeopardy for doing something phenomenally inappropriate unless I was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN something awful had been done. With that in mind…
John and I were working the Consumer Electronics Convention in Las Vegas this year (and he was performing at the Laugh Factory there), and because I was in VEGAS I, of course, took Marilyn with me! John and I stayed at a hotel called Arizona Charlie’s close to the convention center. It’s part of the Stratosphere chain. We left my wig and costumes in the room and went to Day One of the four-day expo. When we returned, our room had been cleaned. I got ready for a night of Marilyning… only to discover upon wigging that… THE MAID HAD WORN MY WIG!!!!
Yes, you read that right.
There is no denying it.
The wig that I have worn so often and know like it’s my own hair… The wig that I wash and style MYSELF and know every detail of… was SO stretched out from misuse (and likely the man-hands of someone trying to stuff their giant hair into it without a wig cap) that when I put it on and turned my head, I could feel it FLOPPING AROUND behind my head!!!!!! The spaces between the lines of curls were so stretched apart that you could clearly see MY wig cap underneath.
RUINED.
I reported it to Bryanna, the front desk manager, and she stared blankly at me with NO surprise in her eyes at all that this happened, eventually saying, “That isn’t my department. You’d have to talk to Security.”
I asked her to call them and she finally showed surprise, as if it hadn’t occurred to her that she had access to a phone. he called Security for me, and they walked me over to their little casino booth and had me fill out a Statement form. I asked for a copy of my statement, and THEY acted surprised as if they’d have never thought of that. They obliged. John and I kept the “Do Not Disturb” sign securely fastened to the door of the room, as we did NOT want anyone coming and and trying on anything else – our hairbrushes, or TOOTHbrushes, who knows?
24 hours passed.
Nothing.
I called the front desk and asked Bryanna what was happening with my statement. She said she had sent an email to the head of housekeeping and did not know anything else past that because, of course, that also “wasn’t her department.”
The head of housekeeping (Shayla?) did not call me back until the day AFTER WE CHECKED OUT OF THE HOTEL.
I called Security and asked them for an update as to what was being done. They said they had performed “lock interrogation” to see who had access to our room. It seems this chain has no idea which housekeepers are in which rooms at any given time. They had not figured anything out “yet”.
The next day, another 24 hours later, I called again. They were surprised no one had called us to apologize (NOT ONE employee said “We’re sorry that happened to you” until TWO WEEKS after the incident was reported). They now said they had “checked the video cameras” outside our room to see who had gone into our room that day. They did not give me any information about this. They did say whether or not they had checked the maid’s phone for pictures of her in my wig, which – come on – you know she took some.
In our entire stay there, we never received new towels, soap, you name it. All the while, the maid who did this still had open access to our room and obviously no regard for rules or propriety. It was an extremely uncomfortable and stressful week. We left our valuables in our car, which didn’t provide us with much more security as the parking lot was littered with garbage and hypodermic needles (we took pictures, I’m not even kidding here).
After leaving Las Vegas and returning to Los Angeles, two weeks after this happened, the head of housekeeping had directed us to the hotel’s Risk Management department (what they had to do with anything I will never know). Upon reviewing my livid statement (wigs are NOT CHEAP!), their official response to me was, in exact words: “The hotel has completed it’s investigation, and we have closed the file. You will not be receiving any compensation for this as we do not believe that it happened. This is our final stance on the matter You have a good day.” *click*
There it is. Official permission for the maid service in this hotel chain to try on your things with absolutely no repercussions
If you are going to Las Vegas to get married, go the extra mile and stay somewhere nicer than this. I would hate for you to hang your gorgeous wedding dress in the closet, only to come back to your room and find that some giant maid had tried it on and ripped the seams.
I have not heard from the chain in any way since the event, despite several messages to the hotel’s Manager, Justine Thomas, and a message left with the chain’s CEO, Bruce F Becker’s assistant “Jenny.”
I have paid in full for a new wig, and suffered through an entire week in a horrible, filthy hotel, no thanks to Bruce Becker and the Stratosphere hotels.

On the bright side, it IS hilarious that this kind of thing can even happen in 2014. With the use of the internet and travel websites like hotwire.com and yelp… did they think NO ONE would ever hear about this?!

๐Ÿ˜‰

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