Monthly Archives: August 2016

Beach Baby

Been having a really tumultuous, emotional few days.
Kept my composure for the most part, hadn’t cried for once… I desperately needed to go to the ocean today. The beach has always been the place I can go to put everything in perspective. It’s a massive reminder that I am…not massive.

Now & Then
Now & Then


I let myself feel every feeling. I let the waves bring me serenity and love, and take my pain, anger and sadness out past the horizon. As the last tears rolled down my cheeks, I lifted them away with my fingers. I bent as the water approached and gave my salty tears to the salty sea. The tides pounded at the sand, four-foot swells just steps in front of me, then gushing around my ankles as if the Pacific was demonstrating its great force and control to me. I gave the Sea my greatest respects and reverence, recognizing its incredible power and soul.
As if it felt the bond, the turbulence calmed for a moment, and the newly soft waters slid up and gently lapped at my toes, paused there, and subsided. I watched, surprised at the sea’s acceptance, and it rose once again to give me an affectionate light reassurance, and glided away again. The suddenness of the shift in vibration altered the emotions I was experiencing so swiftly that I left out an involuntary laugh.
The smile was so welcome on my face and in my heart that I kept it, nurtured it. I fed the freedom of my new smile on a deeper level… I began to dance.
Like a salsa, I shimmied closer as the waves receded, and flirted backwards up the beach as the foam rolled back toward me. The current swirled at my feet, and I twirled gracelessly in the uneven wet sand. As the sea foam pirouetted around me, I pushed curling ripples of my own with my pointed toes.
I scooped up healing sea water and soaked my hair with it, feeling the cold droplets running down my back as I danced. I drew more water into my hands and raised them above my head, letting the icy little streams dance themselves down past my elbows and shoulders, sporadic drips like soft rain on my wet hair.


For a fleeting moment I realized that anyone watching would think I’d gone crazy, and in a way I had – I was letting go of all the constraints I had succumbed to this week, this life.
I laughed more, and began to spin in circles, allowing myself to become as dizzy as I wanted. I tipped over into the sand where I remained, laughing and rolling deeper into the warm sand.
Thank you, Mother Earth.
Color me Cleansed.


Well, we all know “tragedy is comedy misunderstood” (Shakespeare), so come on out for my comedy show at the pawn shop owner’s BBQ joint in the Pawn Stars plaza, Wednesday night, September 21st!
Comedy is so cathartic.
See you then!

Experiencing Life As It Happens

I have a few updates, but none that should be scratched into your calendars just yet. I wanted to share, this time, a few of my private ponderings from my personal facebook page. Two little glimpses into my recent mindset for you to experience with me. I hope you enjoy them!


Gliding over the deserted deserts of Nevada, the girl at the window seat and I watch the lightning flash outside, the clouds glowing and drifting in their brief illumination. I slide a luggage tag between the pages of my favorite, well-worn book (“A Lotus Grows in the Mud” by Goldie Hawn) and set it on my tray table to take in the glorious show nature is putting on around us.
Turbulence continues to shake the aircraft as the flight attendants remain strapped into their jump seats as the captain instructs. Not everyone has noticed the flickering clouds around us but nine or ten of us in the back, who watch quietly and jostle in our seats with the beat of the sky.
The lights go out.
A moment passes, everyone feeling the fear right away.
Then we look around at the souls occupying seats around us, and the most beautiful thing happens:
As if we all synchronized our emotions, the whole group of us strangers begin to laugh.
We laugh for a long, lifting moment, embracing the company in our experience.
It is so organic and honest, and the relief seems to stretch it’s arms out into the storm itself and the rest of the flight is smooth and relaxed as we had become in that one binding moment. The plane dipped beneath the tumult, and the lights of our desert oasis twinkle across the earth.
We are home.

spirit in the sky
I love having gigs that are close to home… and by “home” I mean wherever my mom is.
Driving along the California coast is my favorite route in the world. I roll down the windows and let my hair down and shake that fresh, salty sea air into my soul. I try to open all of my pores as I bask in the sun, absorbing as much of this scent and simple luxury of home as I can.
On my return trip yesterday (the gig was just long enough to tease me with memories and wise ocean waves), I did this soul dance all the way from the 1 through Ventura, nodding that beachy fragrance into my hair, feeling it light on my skin like the most expensive perfume. If I could have stopped to sprinkle a proud layer of beach sand in my floorboard and dip my toes in the cold salt water I would have been the happiest girl in the world.
As the freeways turned and wove me inward, away from the cleansing Pacific, I saw a peach cloud hovering in the distance. No matter how long I traversed the flat terrain, this cloud never moved, just lingered in the sky ahead of me. I wondered how a layer of smog could have found itself over a desert devoid of humans.
As I drew closer, after hours of pondering, I began to notice a change. Slowly that beautiful ocean smell I had tried so hard to hold onto was replaced with a sooty one. This was not smog. All along, this little peach cloud in the distance had been evidence of California burning. The air grew thick, and the setting sun turned everything to a beautiful rose gold. My elation from before slid into a helpless feeling of sorrow for the creatures who were losing their homes. As if they heard me, the clouds above the hills beside me began to look more and more ephereal, like ghosts twisting along the peaks, searching for a new place to belong. I sent my respect and condolences into the ashy wind, revering the mightiness of the monumental phantasms they had become, cresting and falling above the world.
By the time I arrived at my place of belonging, it was almost night. I could no longer see the spirits in the sky, but I knew they were still there, hiding under cover of darkness, searching, weaving…
I was grateful to have a home to end this long journey, but until my return I will leave my heart past the flames in the hills.

Thank you for reading!

sea urchin

Writing NEWS: I have been keeping an eye out for illustrators for my children’s book (“The Little Girl Who Loved A Sea Urchin,” written to help little girls and single mothers understand their situations and try to ease the comprehensive side of domestic violence, and hopefully to keep them from perpetuating it in their own adult life), and I think I have finally found one! Talya Baldwin draws with her heart in the perfect look and style I was dreaming of, and she really appreciates and cares about the cause this book would lend help to. (You should totally look her up on Instagram @talyabaldwinillustration you’ll be blown away!)
I may be starting a fundraiser soon to cover the artist fee and printing costs and start actually creating copies of this book and making it available to the people whom it may bring peace to. If you’d like to help, please feel free to use the Contact form for more information, and THANK YOU for your beautiful heart <3